Long time, no write! Part II

9:47 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

So, tomorrow is the last day precepting on 2 East (ortho, M/S overflow). I have been precepting with Alma Ochs for 6 weeks now (tomorrow is my 12th day). I have had good days and bad days.... so I will try to highlight my experience (I will try, try, try to do better at writing during my time on 3 Main.

I had a hard time initially, because I was used to a preceptor like Sue and Alma was very different, not worse, but just different. I tend to shine when the pressure's on, and I was receiving a lot of help, which made me feel like I wasn't truly responsible for everything. It was also hard to keep track of what was being done and what wasn't since we were sharing all of the responsibilities. I can't imagine how hard it was for Alma.

The 2nd day, I spoke with Alma about allowing me to fully take 2 patients and do all of the work. That day went really well. I had my good days and bad days, and two days ago I took 5 patients for the first time. This was a wonderful learning experience. I really needed this chance to see how well I handled a full load. There were LOTS of medications due at 9, and we happened to have all but one ortho patients with cardiac problems. I haven't had a lot of experience with determining when to hold medications as it pertains to cardiac, so I found myself holding TONS of stuff, either because the BP was low, the HR was low, I hadn't check K+, etc. Then I had a patient that needed to have all of her medications crushed and mixed with pudding. Thank goodness Alma did this for me.

I DID do a good job of keeping track of my IV I/O's, PCA's, completing my charting early, so at the end of the shift, I felt very prepared to hand off everything.

On a non-technical note, I had the opportunity to care for a gentleman who was sent to our floor with terminal colon cancer..... 31 years old. Besides the fact that he was my age with a wife and 3 children, he was always so kind when I didn't know exactly how to use the colostomy bag i was supposed to change or when I was fiddling around with the morphine drip. He told me one evening that he didn't know if people realized how much we did, but he really appreciated it. It was an extremely touching moment. Of course, I tell blake about the days that I have and i mentioned this man.... blake asked me if his name was... "X". It was. how did he know him? turns out blake played football with him, and his kids cheered and played football for the jr rams.
I noticed that he was readmitted the day that I worked (Wednesday). He didn't look good. I went into his room to say hello, and he was completely unaware. He couldn't even hold his eyes open.

We did our 2nd debriefing today, and I found out that the previously mentioned gentleman passed yesterday. I had an overwhelming flood of emotions. I felt my body go cold and I started sweating all at the same time. My heart started beating so hard that I could notice my vision blur every time my heart beat. I haven't cried during my time in class, although we have talked about some sad things. Now i know why. I am very much all or nothing with crying. I barely got out the door before I lost it completely. I came back in and told everybody about what he had said that one time and how I thought "how in the world can someone muster up enough thoughtfulness and strength to say such a thing in that stage of life/death."

eye opening.

more to come....

Started!

4:08 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
So, I began on September 8th. I Love it so far!! I have been working on 2E with Alma, which I am enjoying, although I am looking forward to getting into OB. My schedule is interesting, bc I am in the middle of a week off (besides the 2 classroom days), then 6 days in a row, and a week off again.

I am a bit nervous about it, but I am curious to see how my body and mind reacts to it. I have Alma there and 2 classrooms days in the midst of the 6 days, so that will help.

I will be in touch...

Waiting to begin

6:50 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

I have been reading up no postpartum (need to also read up on neonatal assessment). I am so unbelievably excited about being in the unit that I have been wanting.
Besides reading nursing stuff, I have been training for a Super Spring Triathlon. I am really getting into it. It is 400yd swim, 8 mile bike and 1.8 mile run. I have been running already, so I feel good about that, but the swim is killing me and the biking is much harder than I thought (and 8 miles is longer than I thought!!).

It is on September 13th (I hope I am not working!). The first one, I just want to gauge my abilities, but I have been reading up on transitions, swimming/breathing techniques, training schedules and learning to swim in open water.

I hope I can do it!!

I did it!!!

9:55 PM Edit This 0 Comments »


I received a call last Friday, August 5th from Rae to inform me that I got the Versant position in OB!!

I was so, so happy! I just need to get all of my tests and fittings performed and then I start on September 8th. I will do the first 12 weeks in M/S, then the last 6 in OB. I will have the ability to float to M/S, which I feel very good about. I want to keep OB as my hub, but I don't want to lose the abilities learned from M/S.

I am on cloud 9..... yay!

Long time, no write!

5:44 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

So, lots of nothing and everything happening in my life right now, but I will focus on nursing stuff. I had my 3rd interview with Dameron Friday, July 31st. It was supposed to be a 1 hour panel interview, but it ended up being about 12 minutes long. Rae was very kind, speaking highly of me and making it appear as though I had a job. They were explaining the process to me, and any questions I had about how the unit was run were directed to Pam Mahal (the OB manager). I left feeling wonderful. But, then I read a wall to wall from Pam to Carla, that stated I was...... nice. Just like that. Dots and everything. Now I am not so sure.

I was really nervous about it after I read it, but now I have come to realize that if I am supposed to go to that hospital, I will be chosen to go, and if not, then I will need to formulate a plan B. It will be fine either way.

I will keep you posted, of course.....

Too much time to think, I guess

9:48 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
So, I attended the Versant open house two Wednesdays ago. I am very wishy-washy about how I felt it went.
Some were telling me that I was a shoe in (Marla Scott, Diane Vigil and at one point, Rae Leer), then at the meeting, I got a weird vibe from Rae. It was almost as if she didn't know who I was (maybe she didn't, my hair looks different and she really just knows me by e-mail).

I have applied to:
2M (tele) - Rae Leer/Roman (last name??)
3M (M/S) - Debbie Russell
2E (M/S) - Debbie Russell
OB - Pam Majal
ED - Sherry (last name??)

I ended up not applying to ICU or CCU, bc if I truly want to do OB, then I need to do things that will help in that department and not steer Dameron to far off as far as training me.
I think I may have messed up, though. I didn't bring my resume there. Many were handing out resumes, and I noticed the managers were taking notes. I JUST introduced myself.

Ugh! Andrea (who handed out her resume to the ED manager) got called for an interview the very next week. Here I am 2 1/2 weeks later, no call.

I wish they would just make up their mind already. I want to work at Dameron, but if I do NOT get a job here, I am going to pursue St. Joseph's VERY heavily as well as out of city/area. I know this is just frustration talking, but I have to say.....my resume is pretty kick ass. WHY DIDN'T I BRING IT TO THE OPEN HOUSE!!!! It for sure would've stood out. UGH!!!
I've written my "why do you want to become a nurse" in 100 words or less already, it is as follows...

There is a difference between liking something and having a passion for it. I have liked every job that I have ever had but have been passionate about zero, until now. Nursing combines two things that I can’t seem to know enough about, which are medicine and people. My desire to learn about health, wellness and illness as well as empower my patients with the knowledge to conquer, control and understand their conditions, treatments and recovery is what allows me to take pride in calling myself a Registered Nurse.

I think it is pretty good. And here is my resume.....I think it's pretty impressive considering it is two years worth of work...

Objective

· To apply my unique skill set as a staff nurse in an active and challenging environment that promotes and encourages hard work, critical thinking, interpersonal communication and personal growth

Licenses & Certifications

· Licensed Registered Nurse through the Board of Registered Nursing on June 12th, 2009, license #751757

· Basic Life Support (AHA)

· Advanced Cardiac Life Support (AHA)

· Basic Fetal Heart Monitoring (AWHONN)

· Neonatal Resuscitation Program (AHA)

Education

· Bachelor of Science, Nursing, Chamberlain College, Anticipated graduation - September 2010

· Associate of Science, Nursing, San Joaquin Delta College, Completed - May 2009, GPA 3.85

· Bachelor of Science, Psychology, Sociology minor, Utah State University, 1996-2001, Graduated Cum Laude

· Spanish competency - 5 pre-college years of Spanish as well as 22 unit hours of Spanish at university level. Able to communicate and understand basic Spanish

General Work Experience

· Patient Care Support Aide – Dameron Hospital, February 2008-May 2009

· Tutor/Study Group Leader – San Joaquin Delta College, September 2007-May 2009

Nursing Affiliations

· American Association of Critical Care Nurses (AACN) member – Since January 2009

· Association of Women’s Health, Obstetrics and Neonatal Nurses (AWHONN) member – Since June 2008

· National Student Nurses’ Association (NSNA) member – Since July 2007

Nursing Achievements

· Leadership award/scholarship recipient – Voted on by the NSNA of San Joaquin Delta College, May 2009

· Outstanding Health Science Student – Selected for award by San Joaquin Delta College Academic Senate, May 2009

· Marjorie Forster scholarship recipient – First annual Marjorie Forster scholarship, November 2008

· Dameron Hospital scholarship recipient – Scholarship given through the Dameron Foundation, November 2008

· Profession Advocate - Developed event with elementary through high school aged students in which they were invited to San Joaquin Delta College. Designed to teach students an accurate portrayal of how nurses contribute to the healthcare profession. Steps to implement such a program were communicated statewide. Goal of event: to eliminate stigmas and stereotypes associated with the profession and encourage non-traditional students to consider nursing as a respectable and attainable career choice, 2007/2008

· Community Outreach Speaker – Encouraged high school aged foster kids to consider nursing as an opportunity to improve their self-esteem, financial stability and give them control over their decisions and lives, Spring 2009

· Board Member for Statewide Nursing Association - California Nursing Students’ Association Break Through to Nursing Director, October 2007-January 2009. Goal of position: encourage diverse populations to explore nursing as a viable career option and to dispel negative portrayals attached to the field of nursing

· Board Member for Chapter Nursing Association - San Joaquin Delta College NSNA Secretary, Spring 2008

Other Notable Achievements

· Scholarship recipient – Received full gymnastics scholarship to Utah State University, 1996-2001

· Joe E. Whitesides scholar athlete - Received award 4 times while attending Utah State University 1997-2001

· Team Captain - Captain of the Utah State University Gymnastics team from 1998-2000

· Student-Athlete Mentor – Served as a Utah State University Student-Athlete Mentor from 1997-1999


Hopeful

8:33 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

Dameron posted New Grad RN Residency positions for:
ED, ICU, CCU, M/S, Tele and.....
Obstetrics!!

I applied for Tele and OB. I hope they know how much I want OB!

I am reading up on interview questions. I want this so bad!!

BTW, in regards to the LAST post.....I am committed to this and I feel as free as a bird.


Brought to my attention

8:26 PM Edit This 0 Comments »


My husband brought this quote to my attention (from Starbx cup "the way I see it").

"The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating – in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life."
- Anne Morriss

I have trouble with this for some reason, viewing commitment as a short rope tied tightly to my ankles and the wrought iron fence conveniently called "stability." I am the ultimate "grass is greener...." follower. I'm not really sure what I am looking for, but to say yes to something now (in my eyes) is to say no to the thing that thing that will inevitably follow shortly behind. It seems quite pessimistic. I need to work on it.....i like the idea of being committed. I have done quite well with this whole marriage thing.....:-)

Confessions of a 30-something RN grad

9:13 AM Edit This 0 Comments »

I am in the seat, feeling comfortable, calm (even though I have went through enough security to enter Fort Knox).  I read through the instructions as to not miss anything.  “You have 6 hours….”  Sounds good, all is well…..

First question, okay, 50/50…..A or C….. hmmm…A…. “next”…..2nd question…..what?  What are they asking?  These are all right, and there are no indicators in the question showing priority.  Can I ask them “is this patient stable?”  “how old are they?”  “should I assume they are anxious?”….Can I phone a friend?

Okay, quit assuming, take the question at face value……uh……well, if I were getting this done, this is what I would want to know…….B……..

Right about question 8 I hear the girl next to me groan.  Then about 10 questions later she does a big sigh, then a few later she says, “Oh God.”   Seriously?  Shut-up…..I am freaking out, too.  The least you can do is give me some silence, right?  Maybe I should’ve said yes to those earplugs.

Where’s the delegation?  Where is the alternate question with apical pulse location?  Where are the labs?  Where is the question on crutches?

Why do I get the feeling they are asking me about the same thing over and over?  Maybe they are thinking (I have now humanized the NCLEX monster as “they”) if I give her the question 5 or 6 more times, maybe she’ll get it right…..then…….

Black screen…..wait!  They are thinking….we gave her every shot possible, but she blew it.  75 questions, and I knew the answer to a whopping…..TWO (with certainty).

I do the outgoing survey, looking for the question that says, do you think these questions blow?  “Strongly agree”

I again get fingerprinted (I am thinking, if you think I actually paid this pathetic looking, short-haired blonde girl in sweatpants to take the test for me, then she did a piss poor job…..I am demanding a refund).  I courteously smile and get my stuff.  Then I realize, it’s time to hit the potty.  My stomach is gurgling, and I can actually see my heartbeat in my abdomen.  It is pounding.  I get into my car, deciding who won’t think I am crazy if I call in this state of mind.  Okay, my hubby, of course, he always makes me feel better.  “Oh, that stinks.” Is his response to my description.  “When can you take it again?”  I’m thinking “I DON’T KNOW, I DIDN’T PLAN ON FAILING!”  You’re not helping, click……then, my mom.  Mom’s always make you feel better, right?  “Oh sweetie, it’s not the end of the world, you can just take it over.”  Again, not what I wanted to hear.

At this point I am hoping that Ashton pops out from behind the car next to me with his trendy hair and crooked smile and says, “You’ve been Punk’d!”  so that I can slap him in the face or kick him in the balls or something equally degrading.

Where are all of my girlfriends who are RNs?  Voicemail, Voicemail, Voicemail.

I am sitting in a random parking lot in Roseville thinking, “Maybe I’ll just tell everyone that I had to reschedule, then take the exam again before anybody finds out that I’ve failed.”  How vain is that?!

Ugh!!!  My stomach is hurting again.  I get a few calls/texts and I can’t bear to tell the whole ugly story again.

I get home (I can’t even remember driving really….it feels like I got home in 5 minutes).  I sit on my couch for about 45 minutes…..no TV, no kids, no talking, maybe even no blinking.  I didn’t take the NCLEX serious enough.  I should’ve done a different review.  I should’ve done more questions.  I should’ve taken it later or maybe earlier or maybe I should’ve just NOT studied. 

Of course, nothing on BRN the next day, the day after that, I wake up at 0500 and check…nope…I am even looking on allnurses.com to see what the odds are of failing at 75 questions.  Meanwhile, I am talking to people now.  I am trying to convince myself that I am okay with whatever happens (of course, I am MORE okay with passing!).  I contemplate setting my alarm for 0200 Saturday morning (I’ve heard the BRN updates their website at 0200 for the previous day).  I decide that if it isn’t there, it will ruin the rest of my night’s sleep, so I pass on the alarm idea.

Saturday morning, I sleep in, 0900…….I click on my bookmark (yes, I have bookmarked it)…..type “eagal”…….can you believe it?  There is another Trina Eagal in San Joaquin county….well, that is annoying, even SHE passed the NCLEX….wait….oh, okay, I think I can actually hear the word relief as I exhale.  Now, I can drop the weight on my chest and the pit from my stomach.  Phew!

Moral of the story, sometimes the signs and symptoms (diarrhea, abdominal pain, bounding pulse, anxiety, feelings of impending doom) don’t match the diagnosis (Effective testing output r/t using my noggin aeb name showing up on BRN site)

What’s next?

You mean, now I have to find a job?  My stomach hurts again.

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